Thomas Josef Black
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Thomas Josef Black, Independence, MO passed away February 20, following completion of his regular dialysis treatment at North Kansas City Hospital. He was preparing to go home to his wife Tabitha, grab a few hours of sleep before waking and readying their son for school. He did not linger in his passing; it happened on his terms, home and family his destination.
Tom was too special for a funeral or graveside service, and his family is grateful for your understanding at this time. There will be a celebration of his life April 18 at 1 p.m. at the Blue Springs Country Club. His family hopes Tom’s friends and relatives whom he touched will share their stories, pictures, memories and videos at that time.
He was born October 15, 1979, his Oma’s birthday. He lived his 40 years in the Kansas City area, the home of his beloved Chiefs.
He leaves behind his wife Tabitha (McGrew), son Wesley Thomas 8, and stepson Seth McGrew 20, of the home; and stepdaughter Metayah Whitman 22, of Independence. He is also survived by his parents Thomas F. and Anneliese Black, Blue Springs; two sisters, Rebecca Collins and Stephanie Kessler and their respective spouses, Kurt and William, all of Independence. He is further survived by nieces Annika Belle Kessler, Kellia Clare and Madelyn Elizabeth Collins, and nephew Grant Adam Kessler.
He was preceded in death by maternal grandparents Sandford Wesley and Opal Francis Black and maternal grandparents Josef and Anna Huber.
He attended Our Lady of Peace, and Rockhurst High School. At the age of 25, he became a heart transplant recipient at St. Luke’s Hospital on April 18, 2005. Eight years later, his son was born the same date. He continued to stay close to his family, and was a favorite of his nieces, nephew, friends and countless music fans.
Tom leaves behind a legacy of music, playing for local band favorites like Saucy Jack, 90 Minutes, The Incredibles and Stolen Winnebagos. He stepped in for fellow musicians frequently and was even asked to audition for national acts. As a bassist, he was self-taught, perhaps genius. He thought of himself last in the lineup-first to help another. He played for the sake of music.
No clichés such as “there will never be another…” Instead, remember the husband, son, father, brother, uncle, cousin, friend and family man. The hand was dealt, he played it out, and left the pot to others.
In lieu of contributions or flowers, the family asks you become an organ donor, or simply leave a memory here, or on his Facebook page. Your acts of kindness will be invaluable to his family.
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUmVgvoGnXf1en12cRGGqqA
My heart goes out to all of you. I can’t imagine the loss you are going through at this time. From all that I have read, you have wonderful memories to help you thru this painful time. Cherish those and know that God will give you strength.
To the Black Family we the Bukowski’s send our prayers of comfort to you all. What a wonderful son, husband, father and friend he was to so many whom he leaves behind. His story is not over, it is now in a glorious chapter where time and limitations do not exist. May his memory be a blessing to us all.
-in the name of the son Yeshua the messiah.
I did not know Tom, I’m a childhood Friend of Tabitha. My heart is very Heavy for Tabitha and the Kids and Family! Please Accept My Condolences! What a Beautiful tribute to Tom, He seemed like a Wonderful Husband, Father, Son, etc… It’s hard to accept or understand Gods plan! I Hope someday You will find Peace and comfort in Tom’s memories! My Prayers and thoughts are with the Black Family!!!
Our heartfelt condolences on your loss. He was the cousin that I had yet to meet and I was looking so forward to meeting him in March. I know I would have loved him. Cherish your memories and know that God is holding him close.
I would like to extend my love and condolences to those who feel the loss of Tom Black. I’ve only known Tommy through the loving eyes of his sister, Becky. I have been in Becky’s life since the mid eighties and always knew her to be a very kind and adoring big sister to Tommy. The sweet way he would look up to her and her equally loyal way of extending herself to him is a memory I hold. You could tell how proud he was to be her little brother. With all of the things his life endured and surmounted I always appreciated the success stories. Throughout the years, Becky always had positive and loving sentiments when referencing Tommy and his life. I have always known The Black family to be fiercely loyal and sincerely loving as a family model. I am sure his loss has ripples that leave the surface of life unrecognizable. I believe in the energy of love and light and with the kind of love that thrives in this family I trust there is a loving solace. Please know how sorry I am for your loss.
Please accept my deepest sympathies- I pray for you and your family at this terrible time. May God Bless and watch over you all!
I met Tom at Jerry’s Bait Shop. He became one of my favorite customers immediately. I’d see him in his fedora out of the corner of my eye. Tom never waited for a drink, no matter how busy I was. We always didn’t get to talk a lot but what was said we didn’t have too. There was a coolness about him that he didn’t have to work at. He was warm, friendly, funny, and just damn amazing. When he played he was thunder without the lightning. He didn’t need the spotlight. But the spotlight sure came to him. I’m very sorry for loss of him.
We are so incredibly sorry for your loss. While we didn’t know Tom we know his parents and sister and our hearts are so heavy for the grief they are having to experience. While we have no answers or way to heal the grief we are praying for you all.
Dear Anna, Tom and family,
I only met Tom (or Tommy as Becky always called him) once or twice, but what I do know about him is how loved he was and will always be. Anna, the way that you and Becky spoke of him, his strength, his talent and his determination, I believe that this earth lost a very dear soul. I cannot imagine losing someone that close nor can I imagine your grief. I do know that your faith is strong and that this is not the end but a beginning for him. Until you meet again I’m sending you prayers for peace and comfort. My love to you all.
I am so sorry for the loss of your special beloved Tommy. I only knew Tommy thru Becky & Anna, (Anna, I sure miss seeing you smiling face) but I knew he was amazing by the expression of pure unconditional love that surrounded Tommy. Although he was on this earth for a short period of time, he loved his music, his family, and everyone he touched and more importantly he knew
how much he was loved. I will continue to send love, peace, positive thoughts and energy to your family.
Thank you so much for sharing your son with us through the wonderful stories told by Becky. His memory shines forth for us to have a portion of his life to hold close to our hearts. May the Father’s love hold you close as well as sustain you, as precious recollections of Tommy fill your days.
May you find comfort in the love and support of those around you during this difficult time. When my little brother died, the best advice I received that I will share with you is this; Let others do for you. If someone offers to pick up your dry cleaning, let them. If someone offers to bring over a meal, let them. If someone offers to take care of your mail, let them. If someone asks if they can do anything for you, give them something to do, even if it’s “could you run the vacuum?”. The people who love you may not have experienced your pain, but they want to do anything they can to help, so let them. They are in your life to hold you up during this unimaginable grief. Hang in there. You are not alone. You are so loved and lasagna keeps beautifully in the freezer. All my love to you.
I met Tom while Tabitha and him were dating. We went to his gigs. He was always so kind. I remember when they got married thinking finally Tabs got her knight in shiny armour. So sorry for the loss of your husband, father, son, brother and uncle. May he rest in eternal peace
Nothing but limitless love for Tom. He did so much for 90 Minutes and for me. He was always at the top of my call list when someone in Kansas City needed a bass player. His dedication to his musical craft did not go unnoticed by anyone who was a true “pro” in Kansas City.
But ultimately, it was his kindness and selfless demeanor that I believe got him the work that he was called for.
We’ll miss you my friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I never meet Tom, but after hearing so many good things about him while Becky cut my hair or sitting around the the table sharing about our families I had always thought I would get to meet him. From the way Becky talked about him I have no doubt he was a wonderful, loving person. I so wish I could offer more as to say I’m sorry just doesn’t seem enough. The pain of the loss may not get less ,but it will be softened by all the good memories.
I am so very sorry for your loss! In knowing Becky I’ve had the pleasure of hearing about Tommy and his caring personality and remarkable life. With all that he had been through, I believe he understood more about living your best life while on this earth than most of us can ever know. Thank you Becky for sharing memories of your brother with me. Peace to your family.